


Right in Front of Me

by drarrywolfstarlarry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rating May Change, Warnings May Change, but just some stuff like how the books are ish..., eventual sexy times may happen but nothing crazy, eventual talk and show of depression in later chapters so please treat yourself with kindness, it won’t be crazy scary violent stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drarrywolfstarlarry/pseuds/drarrywolfstarlarry
Summary: following harry and his journey throughout hogwarts. please see notes at the beginning of the first chapter for more specific information!!*ongoing!!!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, other relationships that we will find throughout the story
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	1. change

**Author's Note:**

> hi all! so this story is following harry and his life at hogwarts BUT all the characters are alive and well. i wrote a story about wolfstar prior to this one, and this is a continuation of those characters’ lives… if that makes ANY goddamn sense lol. basically you don’t have to have read my wolfstar fic to understand this one, but you might be a little confused on the the relationship between all the characters! so i will help you out a tad and give you a brief summary. and if you don’t care then just scroll on down past all this :)
> 
> alrighty! so, james and lily weren’t killed that night when voldemort came. james had his wand and was able to fight voldy off. moldy voldy eventually got past james BUT his love saved both lily and harry. so essentially the night happened very similarly, harry is still the chosen one and what not… but james and lily lived. ok moving on. wolfstar are together and they adopted a little girl who’s about 5 years younger than harry! her name is marlene lily lupin! (honoring marlene mckinnon their friend who died, and of course lily potter!) harry has a little sister named euphemia marlene potter! (euphemia is james’ mom’s name)
> 
> more important info is that narcissa left lucious bc she realized that he wasn’t it. she moved in with andromeda and ted and dora for a hot minute and so draco met harry, ron and neville. they’re all friends. which is probably the most important thing to note because they start off in this story as besties! harry and ron met because molly and arthur are friends with andromeda and ted and sirius is family with them obviously! so it’s all like sensible… but obviously not how we know anything to be bc of miss jk…i love making no sense whatsoever :)
> 
> another important thing to note is that……….. this will EVENTUALLY have drarry. but i’m starting from first year, so it will not happen until they are much, much older. it’s slow burn, friends to lovers, all those corny tropes that we know and love but I CAN’T HELP IT they’re just too darn good. but i probably won’t spend too much time in their early early years, i’ll probably skim by first through fourth year with a few chapters just to get to the other stuff… but we’ll see because things are going to go pretty different from the books. harry is still the chosen one so he’ll still battle it out with moly voldy in the end, but the events from his years at hogwarts will unfold in a much different way bc it would be super boring for you to just know exactly what is going to happen.
> 
> i think that’s all the most important things, but of course if anything’s going on and you’re like “wut” leave a comment and i can answer your question because… well i wrote it hehe. 
> 
> also! my writing kind of shifts from third to first person. i’m sorry if this annoys anyone while reading, it’s just how i like my stories to be, it kind of gives the feel you’re in the story ya know?
> 
> last thing is that i’m going to do a bit of different characterizations. they will still be them, with very similar feelings and personalities, but in order to incorporate hermione into their little friend group they have to be not as mean as they were to her... lol. it’s not gonna be crazy different. ron will still tease her and stuff, but ya know they’re different people because they all grew up friends so therefore their personalities are different ... you know what i mean? i hope that made any sense lol.
> 
> ok that should be all.
> 
> enjoy :)

_Because these things will change_  
_Can you feel it now?_  
_These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down_  
_It's a revolution, the time will come_  
_For us to finally win_  
_And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah_

Harry could barely sleep. His mind was churning with all the possibilities of what tomorrow is going to bring. Tomorrow marks his first day of his first year at Hogwarts. He’s been preparing for this day since the minute he knew what Hogwarts even was. His mum had been prepping him for the past few weeks and his dad was, of course, telling him that he can’t wait until Harry is in his second year so that he can be on the Quidditch team like he was.

_James Quidditch isn’t the most important thing, his schooling is!_

_Don’t listen to her Harry, Quidditch is everything!_

_James!_

_Lily!_

Harry got up from bed and walked to his kitchen. His body was jittering so much and there was no way he was getting much sleep tonight anyway. It was half past five already, he’d have to be awake soon enough. He got a glass of water and sat down at his kitchen table. _What if I don’t make good grades?_ Harry thought. _Will mum be disappointed? What if I don’t make the Quidditch team next term? Will dad hate me?_ Harry knew these were silly things to think about. Of course his parents will love him no matter what, but sometimes 11 year-olds are prone to think silly thoughts, especially because sometimes they didn’t seem so silly and they seemed scary instead. Harry heard a noise behind him and he turned to find his dad coming around the corner to the kitchen.

“I thought I heard something. Harry, what are you doing up? You have a big day tomorrow, love.” His dad said, sitting down beside him at the table. Harry looked up at him.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He replied simply, taking a drink of his water.

“Are you worried?” James asked him, gripping his hand that was free from his glass. Harry blinked away tears. _What am I crying for?_ He thought. _Stop being a big baby._

“I… I guess.” He said, feeling small. It was easy to feel small next to his dad. He was never scared of anything, he had the biggest personality, he was very well-loved by anyone who knew him. Of course Harry knew that he was well-known in the Wizarding World, his parents have well prepared him for that. But that doesn’t guarantee that things will be easy for him.

“You’ll do just fine, Harry. I know you will.” James said reassuringly. He took Harry’s hand in his own.

“How do you know for sure though, dad? I mean… what if I go and muck everything up?”

“You won’t. And even if you do, that’s Ok. Do you know how many things I mucked up at school? If it weren’t for your mum I would be dead in a ditch somewhere.” Harry cracked a smile at that. “And I know you’re going to be amazing because as much as you have my crazy hair and goofy smile, you have your mother’s everything else. Her eyes, her wit and her brain. Plus Mum and Uncle Moony will be there to help you out if you need anything.” Harry smiled brightly at his dad and then blushed a bit.

“You make me sound a whole lot cooler than I actually am, dad.” Harry said.

“Absolutely not! You’re a rock-star Harry James Potter. And don’t you forget it.” James said, ruffling his hair. “You have great friends who will be by your side as you go into Hogwarts. And plus, you’re famous. If anyone gives you trouble, whip that scar out.” James said, winking at him.

“Dad! I’m not going to whip my scar out. It’s horrid anyhow. Draco always says it makes me look cool though.” Harry said, blushing some more.

“Well Draco is a smart lad, haven’t I always said that? Plus you’ll probably get loads of dates cause you’re so famous.”

“Gross dad!” Harry said, laughing and lightly pushing his dad off of him.

“I love hearing that. Don’t ever date. You’re my baby.”

“Uh, Ephie’s the baby, not me. I’m grown.” Harry said, indignantly. He was 11 years old, not some little baby.

“In years, but you’re my boy. My first born. I’m proud of you, Harry. No matter what.” James wrapped Harry up in a bear hug.

“I love you, dad.” Harry said into James’ shoulder.

“I love you more than anything, Harry. Ok? Don’t ever forget that.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Are you going to stay up?” James asked him.

“Yeah. I don’t think I could fall back asleep even if I wanted to.”

“Ok, love. I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Why don’t you just turn the telly on and relax. It’ll be time to wake up soon enough.” He kissed his forehead and made his way back to his room. Harry went and sat on their sofa. He turned the telly on quietly.

Harry felt a lot better about starting school, but he was still full of nerves. Hopefully when he sees Draco, Ron and Neville tomorrow he’ll feel loads better than he does right now.

.

.

.

“Why can’t we go with Mummy and Harry?” Ephie asked, bottom lip puffed out and the tears about to begin.

“Because love, Mummy and Harry are going on a fun adventure, and you’ll be able to do that when you’re Harry’s age.” James explained patiently. Harry always wondered how parents did that. How parents could explain basic things so calmly, perhaps Harry shouldn’t have kids because he would’ve simply said ‘because you can’t go Ephie’.

“I love you so much baby girl.” Lily said, picking her up and holding her tightly.

“Don’t worry, Harry and Mummy will Floo home sometimes, and you can come visit, just like you always do.” Remus said next to them.

”Plus, I’ll come home every weekend, love. And we’ll talk on our mirrors every night.” Lily said.

“But… but Harry won’t be here.” Ephie cried.

“I know, love. Harry will be at Hogwarts, but he’ll visit sometimes, like Uncle Moony said. But you’ll get to spend lots of time with Daddy, Uncle Paddy and Marley!” Lily exclaimed, trying to help her feel better. Sirius, Remus and Marley were all hugging each other tightly and saying goodbye to each other as well. Lily set Ephie down and she went over to Harry.

“Bye-bye Harry. I love you.” She said, holding her arms out for a hug. Harry turned red, not wanting to make Ephie sad, but also not wanting to embarrass himself at Kings Cross. He leaned down and hugged her tightly. “Bye Ephs. I’ll miss you, love you loads, Ok? You’ll be Ok.” He stood back up and his dad looked at him and smiled.

“I’ll… I’ll miss you too dad…” Harry said, verging on tears. _How pathetic_ he thought. James hugged him. “I love you more than life itself, Harry. You’ll do great.” His mum and dad gave each other one more kiss, as well as Sirius and Remus. Then Lily, Remus and Harry walked over to where they saw Ron, Neville and Draco standing, seemingly waiting for him.

“There you are Harry!” Ron said giving him a one armed hug. Ron’s family was all around and it seemed like the world was just enveloped in red hair… or at least this part of the train station.

“Took you long enough.” Draco said, smiling lightly. Harry already felt better, being in the presence of his friends.

“Oh bugger off. My sister was having a bit of a tantrum. She said she’s gonna miss me.” Harry said.

“You love her, you tosser.” Draco replied.

“Yeah… I mean of course I do. Just… whatever.” Harry blushed and smiled and Draco poked his finger in his dimple. “Why do you always do that when I smile!” Harry asked, blushing harder.

“I don’t know… because.” Harry laughed at Draco’s amazing explanation.

“Fair enough.”

“Harry! How are you my dear?” Molly asked him, Ginny clinging to her side.

“Oh I’m doing fine Molly. Just er- just ready for Hogwarts. Shouldn’t we go find a compartment to sit at lads?” His friends nodded and said their goodbyes to the their families, making their way on the train, Harry following.

“Harry, hold on a second, yeah?” His mum asked. He looked to his friends and then shrugged and stayed back with her.

“What’s up mum?” he asked.

“I just want to tell you that… the world isn’t like home. With just us… we’re well… we’re famous. And I know you’ve been out and about in Diagon Alley, but it’s going to be different in Hogwarts.”

“Mum… you’ve already told me all of this.” Harry said, a bit confused because _what was his mum trying to say?_

“Some people think that… well… they think that Voldemort should have won that night.” Lily said. Harry was shocked. She had never really said his name, just _You-Know-Who_ or even _The Big Old Prat Who Gave You That Scar_. Of course Harry knew all about Voldemort. His parents wanted him to know as much as they thought he could handle.

“Well… yeah I know. He had those creepy blokes who followed him. The Deathers or whatever.”

“Death Eaters… and yes them. But also… just plenty of people who thought he was right. That only pure-bloods are the wizards who deserve to be at Hogwarts. Those kind of people might get jealous of the kind of attention you’ll be getting. Do you get what I’m saying?” She asked, looking worried.

“Yeah mum. Keep my eye out for people who say the M word. Got it. Can we… get on the train now?” Harry asked her. Lily looked hesitant for a minute but finally smiled (a somewhat strained smile) and put her arm around him.

“Yes! Of course. Wanna sit in the professor’s compartment with me and Moony?” Lily asked, laughing lightly.

“I love you and Moony, mum. But no chance.” He said, laughing with her.

“Ok, see you at school, love.” They hopped on the train and Harry went searching for the compartment with his friends. As he was walking through the hall he couldn’t help but think about how worried his mum looked. And why was she acting as though Harry would be in danger… would he be? Before he could overthink his conversation anymore he found the compartment full of his friends plus a girl that he’d never seen before.

“There you are, what did your mum need?” Neville asked while Harry sat down next to Draco.

“Giving him all the answers to every potions assignment, right?” Ron joked.

“Yeah right, you’ve met Lily before right? No chance” Draco said, laughing. That made the others laugh as well.

“She was just… warning me about people who are probably gonna hate me?” Harry said

“Why would people hate you?” The girl asked. Harry looked over at her. She had dark brown curly hair, and it had to be the curliest hair Harry had ever seen in his life.

“Oh… uh…Who are you?” Harry asked. Not trying to be rude, but also not wanting to necessarily talk about such personal stuff with a girl he didn’t know.

“I’m Hermione Granger. All the other compartments were full… I didn’t have anywhere else to sit.” She said, sounding a bit sad. Harry didn’t understand why she was offended… it’s a perfectly valid question. _Girls are weird_ he thought.

“Oh, hello. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Harry. Harry Potter.” He said, extending his hand out to her. He saw her eyes widen and then go back to normal. _Great she’s probably going to freak out now_ he thought. She shook his hand and then tried, really hard, to look like she had no idea who he was.

“It’s Ok. Sure, he’s famous but he’s really the same as everyone else.” Draco started. “He’s the same as every other pratty 11 year-old boy.” His friends laughed and Hermione blushed a bit, looking embarrassed.

“Oh… I’m sure. I just… sorry. I’ve read a lot about you.” She said softly. She seemed nice enough, but Harry just didn’t know what to say. “I’m… I’m rather excited for your mum’s class. She seems like such an excellent witch. I want to be like her some day.” Harry looked at her and smiled. He had to agree, his mum was pretty wonderful. “I should have realized who you were when they said something about your mum and potions. I guess I didn’t put it together.”

“It’s Ok. No big deal at all, Hermione. So… er… where are you from?” He asked, trying to make her feel included.

“I’m muggleborn.” Hermione answered, meekly.

“Oh cool!” Ron exclaimed. “What are muggles like? I’ve only met a few.” Hermione smiled confusedly.

“Well, they’re much like wizards, actually.” She said, smiling at Ron. She started telling him and Neville all about her muggle parents and what they do, but Harry started drowning it out. Not that it wasn’t interesting he just kept thinking back to what his mum was telling him.

“Hey, boy wonder.” Draco whispered. Harry was knocked out of his thoughts and turned his head so that he was making eye contact with him.

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Harry said, giggling. And, of course, Draco stuck his pointer finger in his dimple. Draco always did that when he made Harry laugh or smile. Harry would always pretend it bothered him, but really he liked it.

“What’s going through that scar struck head of yours?” Draco asked. Harry wasn’t sure why they were whispering. I guess he didn’t want to interrupt Hermione talking, but the moment felt special for some reason. Like it was just between him and Draco and he didn’t want to ruin it by breaking the quiet.

“Just what my mum was telling me before we came on the train.”

“What did she say?”

“She was just telling me to be careful… that people were gonna hate me because I’m famous but I’m not a pure blood. I don’t know… just very weird things.”

“Well, I mean… didn’t we already kind of know that?” Draco asked him.

“Yeah… she just seemed like… really concerned. It was weird and I don’t know… I have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.” Draco put his hand over Harry’s trying to calm him down. Harry looked down, then back up at Draco.

“Everything’s going to be Ok.” Draco said after a few seconds. “Even if something bad happens you’ve got me. You’ve got me and Ron and Nev. You’re not alone in this, Ok?” Harry just looked at Draco for a moment. Draco has been his best friend, along with Nev and Ron, since he was a toddler. He always knew exactly what to say to make Harry feel better. But for some reason his heart was beating super fast right about now. It’s probably just lingering nerves for what today is going to bring, first day at Hogwarts, the sorting and everything… but there was flittering in his stomach. Looking at Draco, he just noticed how he always had a little glimmer in his eye. He was looking back at Harry and for some reason that just made the weird fluttering in his stomach much worse.

“Don’t you think, Harry?” Ron’s voice snapped him out of his trance.

“Oh… what?” Harry said, pulling away from Draco. “I- I’m sorry I was… I wasn’t really listening…” He felt a bit embarrassed, because had they all seen him and Draco staring at each other?

“Oh, we were just saying how cool your mum and Moony are and Hermione shouldn’t be worried about their classes.” Neville said, looking at them a bit strangely.

“Why were you guys whispering?” Ron asked.

“Oh… nothing. Just talking about… Quidditch, ya know.” Harry stammered.

“Right…” Ron said, seemingly not believing Harry’s cover. Harry gave him a look of _I’ll tell you later because I don’t want to tell you in front of this girl I just met_. Ron seemed to understand Harry’s look because he just shrugged.

“Draco and Harry are always in their own world, Ron. Why do you sound so shocked?” Ron laughed and nodded.

“You’re right, Nev.” And they went back to talking to Hermione about… whatever it was that they were talking about. Harry blushed and looked at Draco who didn’t seem phased at all by what they had just said. Draco smiled at him and then looked over at the others’ conversation. Harry couldn’t bring himself to listen still. He had a weird feeling that… something bad was going to happen. Of course it’s probably just first day jitters, but… he felt a tingling on his forehead by his scar. And that was something he’d never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed it :) please let me know what you think!  
> song at the beginning is ‘change’ by taylor swift!  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> also, i proofread my works, but it’s a lot harder to notice when they’re your own words for some reason. and i don’t have anyone who checks for me. please let me know if there are any horrendous errors in spelling or grammar! thanks! also, please be kind. writing this stuff is fun for me, it’s fanfiction, so it’s not supposed to be taken too seriously. hope you like it! :)


	2. these are my people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all i have to say about this chapter is FILLER!!!!!! please don’t be discouraged by this one, it’s not too exciting, but it’s just all the mechanical stuff, the sorting, and setting up characters and what not. the next chapter will be much more exciting, i promise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * there is a direct quote from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in here. McGonagall’s speech to the first years. No copy-write intended, but I didn’t want to step on the speech because it’s very good.  
> *also, of course everyone in harry’s year is going to get sorted, but for the sake of time and patience, i will only be writing our the sorting for the most important characters to the story (harry, draco, ron, neville and hermione)  
> * seamus, dean, hannah, pansy and blaise will be minor characters but i’m not writing their sorting. (also luna and ginny will be kinda important characters but they aren’t at hogwarts yet obviously!  
> * ok! enjoy!

_But these are my people, this is where I come from  
We're givin' this life everything we got and then some  
It ain't always pretty, but it's real  
It's the way we were made, wouldn't have it any other way  
These are my people_

“Are you nervous?” Draco asked Harry kind of out of nowhere. They were on the boats on the way to Hogwarts and soon they’d be sorted into their houses. “For the sorting, I mean. I’m kind of nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?” Harry asked. He was nervous too of course, but he didn’t think Draco ever got nervous. He always seemed totally cool and collected, it sometimes made Harry jealous because he wore all his emotions on his sleeve.

“I don’t want to be in Slytherin.” He whispered, looking down.

“Why don’t you want to be in Slytherin?” Harry asked. Now, of course Harry knew why Draco didn’t want to be in Slytherin. He knew because Draco has talked about this a few times before. But, when your best friend is coming to you for comfort, it’s best to just let them talk it out.

“Because… my father… my aunts and uncles and all my horrid family. They were all in Slytherin. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he was in Slytherin. Bad people are fermented there. I don’t want to be there.” Draco said, getting more emotional than Harry remembers seeing, at least for a long time.

“You know who else was in Slytherin?” Harry asked him.

“Who?” Draco said, a small pout on his face.

“Your mum. And she’s super awesome. Like one of the coolest people ever. And you know who else? Your Aunt Andromeda. Those are two people that you love a lot. They’re really awesome, decent people. So… I don’t know. I don’t think being sorted into Slytherin would be too bad.” Harry said. Draco looked up at him and Harry felt that weird fluttering in his stomach again. _What is that? Merlin he must have eaten something rotten._

“Yeah… I suppose you’re right… but the worst thing of all is that you won’t be there. You’ll be sorted into Gryffindor like your mum and dad and uncles. So will Ron and Nev and I’ll be all alone in Slytherin.”

“Who knows, you might be in Gryffindor too.” Harry said. “But even if you’re not, we’ll always be friends. Being in different houses won’t change that. I promise, Ok?” Harry squeezed his hand, just to make sure he got the message. Draco smiled brightly and nodded.

“Yeah… you can’t get rid of me, Potter.” Draco joked, nudging Harry lightly.

“I don’t ever want to, Malfoy.”

.

.

.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room…

The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting." McGonagall went into the Great Hall with a swish of her cloak. It was weird seeing her in such a different light. Harry had met her many times over the years, and she always seemed much less intimidating. He supposed at school she has to be a bit different.

“Ready for this, lads?” Ron said, hanging his arms around both Harry and Draco, Neville trailing behind. “This is the beginning of the rest of our lives.” Harry looked at his friends and smiled.

“Ready.” Just then the doors to the Great Hall opened and they began walking down the middle of the hall. Harry spotted a few familiar faces, he saw his mum and Remus sitting up where the professors sit. He recognized Albus Dumbledore, McGonagall and Hagrid. He also recognized Severus Snape. His mum and dad had told him a bit about Professor Snape, he used to be friends with mum… and apparently still harbors a weird grudge towards them all. He also recognized the sea of red hair sitting at the Gryffindor table, all of Ron’s siblings. He felt more and more worried as he was walking up towards the Sorting Hat.

As McGonagall began calling names, starting alphabetically with a girl named Hannah Abbot, he made eye contact with his mum. She smiled at him, but didn’t wave. Harry had a stern talking to his mum about not embarrassing him at school. He smiled back and tried very hard to pay attention. He kept thinking about what Draco said. It would stink if Draco’s in Slytherin and the rest of their friends were in Gryffindor. But Draco is his best friend. Even if he’s in Slytherin he’ll make it his mission to see Draco every single day. Breaking him out of his thoughts was hearing the girl they met on the train, Hermione’s name called. She was sorted to Gryffindor. There were a few names after her and then Neville’s name was called. He watched as Neville nervously walked up to the sorting hat. 

Harry knew that Nev was nervous about the sorting because he wanted to be in Gryffindor like his mum and dad, but he didn’t think he was brave enough. Harry always tried to tell him that the other houses are just as awesome. Neville was sorted to Hufflepuff and Harry saw a brief look of confusion, then disappointment, and then he had a weird smile and walked over to the Hufflepuff house table. Harry can’t say he was surprised, Neville is the most loyal and wonderful person Harry knows.

When it was time for Draco’s sorting there was a weird energy in the Great Hall. Almost like everyone was holding their breath for the Malfoy heir to be sorted. Draco and his mum didn’t care about the heir stuff like it was to the rest of their crazy family but no one really knew that. Harry really didn’t know where Draco would be sorted because he fit so many of the traits for all of them. He was brave, probably one of the bravest people he knew, but he was loyal and ambitious too which are traits of the other houses. He just had so much to offer to all of the houses. Draco was sitting up there with the sorting hat on his head and utter shock rang through the hall when the hat called out “Hufflepuff”. Draco looked like he just won the lottery, he looked at Harry with that award winning Draco Malfoy smile and he walked to his new house’s table and sat right next to Neville. 

When Ron was sorted to Gryffindor, Harry just smiled to himself. Anyone who knew Ron could have guessed he’d be in Gryffindor. Not just because his siblings were sorted there, but because he was the most Gryffindor person Harry’s ever met.

When Harry was called it was the same kind of ominous feeling for Draco’s sorting. The hat was placed on Harry’s head and it seemed to have a hard time deciding which house to put him in. He just kept thinking _Not Slytherin, not Ravenclaw, I want to be with one of my friends please._ The Hat talked back to him, which he didn’t expect. It seemed like only Harry could hear though. _Not Slytherin? Hm… why is that? You would do well in Slytherin, you are destined for great things Harry Potter, and I know Slytherin could help you get there. And Ravenclaw is not the right fit for you, you’re right. Not Slytherin, you’re sure? Hm…_ This part was rang out to the whole Great Hall, _Better be Gryffindor!_

Harry smiled brightly and looked over at his mum and Remus, who were on the verge of tears. He looked away and found Draco’s eyes and then saw Draco mouth _Shocker_. Harry smiled brightly and sat right next to Ron at the table that was enveloped in red.

.

.

.

“This is awesome! Draco and Nev are together and you and me are together!” Ron whispered to Harry as they were following Percy (the Gryffindor prefect) to their common room. Harry smiled wide.

“I know. I wish we were all in the same house, but. I’m glad that I at least have you here.”

“We’ll see them all the time, we’ll make sure of it.” Ron said, putting his arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“Definitely.” Harry agreed, walking in stride with Ron. Suddenly Hermione appeared next to them.

“Hi.” She said, a bit meekly. “I’m… I’m glad to see familiar faces… I was worried I wouldn’t know anyone at all.” Harry and Ron smiled at her.

“You can totally hang with us, Hermione!” Harry said. She grinned and then they all came to a stop when Percy began explaining how to get into the common room.

Harry and Ron went to their room where they were put with 2 other boys, Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas. He and Ron had just met them of course, but they seemed really nice. Harry couldn’t wait until tomorrow’s breakfast so he could see Draco again, and Neville of course. Ron was already talking to Seamus and Dean about something he learned about Muggles, Harry had heard it many times, so he decided to investigate the castle.

He turned out of the common room and started to make his way down an seemingly empty corridor, but as he was turning he slammed right into someone and he toppled over onto his butt with an “Oof!” He looked up and saw a man, who looked about his mum and dad’s age with a long black robe and a look of disgust on his face.

“I’m so sorry, sir!” Harry started, standing back up. “I didn’t know where I was going, I’m a first year, so I was just trying to look around-.” He was cut off by the man.

“Yes, I know who you are, Potter. No need to fill me in. I can already tell you have the same arrogance as your father. Not shocking really. Especially considering the time you must spend with Black and Lupin as well.” He sneered. Harry didn’t even know this man’s name, but he already hated him. Who did he think he was, talking about his family like that.

“Er… do I know you… sir?” Harry added the sir, to try and be polite as possible. His sneer only grew, and he looked down at Harry with a look of such distaste.

“I see your brains and articulation come from your father as well. I am Professor Snape. Do go back to your common room or I will write you up a detention. And we wouldn’t want _The Chosen One_ to get detention on his first day at Hogwarts, now would we?” The Chosen One? What did that even mean? Was it an insult? Harry wanted to talk back and ask what Harry ever did to him, but he remembered his mum and dad warning him about Professor Snape. So he just nodded his head.

“Sorry again, sir. I really didn’t mean it.” Snape rolled his eyes and turned down the same way he came from. Harry slumped his shoulders and walked back to his dorm room. It’s a good thing he headed back too, because curfew was slowly approaching. In fact when Harry got back to his room, Ron was waiting up for him telling him that they were all getting ready for bed.

Harry was tired anyhow, so he went to his trunk and looked through trying to find his pajamas. He found a pair, but when he pulled them out a piece of parchment fell out with it. Harry grabbed it and a smaller piece of parchment fell out of that. It read,

_Harry,_

_It’s only right that we pass this off to you. It’s our life’s work (besides you, Ephie and Marley) and it only makes sense that we give it to you to use. It will always help you as long as you solemnly swear that you’re up to no good. When you’re done using it make sure your mischief is managed. Try it out, and let Moony know how you like it. We love you, Prongslet._

_Love,_

_Dad, Paddy, Wormy and Moony._

Harry closed the letter, he could tell that it was his dad’s handwriting, and then opened up the seemingly blank piece of paper. _Is it magic?..._ _Of course it’s magic, what a stupid thought._ What was it that the letter said? _It will always help you as long as you solemnly swear that you’re up to no good._ Hm.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” Harry said. Nothing. _That’s odd_ … _Oh… my wand._ He grabbed his wand and held it to the parchment. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” Suddenly the parchment started filling with words and Harry could make out, _Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present The Marauder’s Map._ The Marauder’s Map? Harry opened it up and it was a map of the entire castle. He could see where everyone was, in all of Hogwarts. He looked around until he saw Draco and Neville’s names. Then he saw his Mum’s and Moony’s.

“Bloody hell! This is incredible!” He said to himself. “The Marauder’s Map… wow. This’ll be good.” He looked at the map for a while longer before deciding to go to sleep. Everything was feeling Ok… except for the weird tingling by his scar that had been like that all day, and had only gotten worse. He wondered if he should tell his mum, only he didn’t want to worry her.

But...considering who gave him the scar, Harry couldn’t help but think that it couldn’t mean anything good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! like i said in the beginning, this is a filler chapter, so please know that the other chapters will be much more interesting! thanks for reading, i love you and i’m sending you a virtual forehead kiss! <3 (with your consent, of course)
> 
> like i said last chapter, i have no one editing this for me, i do my own proofreading, but PLEASE let me know if there’s any crazy spelling or grammatical errors! and please be kind! i write these for fun and that’s what fanfiction is supposed to be! :)
> 
> song at he beginning is ‘these are my people’ by rodney atkins!


	3. the middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of dialogue in this chapter!

_It just takes some time  
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride  
Everything, everything will be just fine  
Everything, everything will be all right, all right_

“So you’re telling me that your dad and uncles made a magical map of Hogwarts… when they were still _students_ and they just gave it to you!?” Draco said looking the map over.

“They said it was their legacy… that they’re passing it onto me. I guess since I’m the oldest of all their kids… it’s up to me to carry on ‘The Marauders’. Will you guys help me?” He said, looking up at his friends.

“Gods… do we have to call ourselves something? How embarrassing…” Ron said, smiling. “I think being a Marauder would be fun. If we just get to pull pranks on people. That’s essentially what your dad did, right?”

“Ron… they literally created a magical map. A map that shows where people are. And you think all they did was ‘pull pranks on people’!?” Neville exclaimed. “You know, I think we should have nicknames for each other too. You can’t have a group name without individual names!”

“One step at a time. Let’s go see what Remus has to say, yeah?” Draco said, smiling. “He’s probably waiting in anticipation for you to go talk to him about the map, don’t you think, Harry?”

“Probably. Let’s go.” He muttered _mischief managed_ under his breath and put the map in his pocket. He grabbed his wand and followed Draco, Neville and Ron out of the dorm. When they got to Remus’ office the door was closed. Harry raised his hand to open the door when he heard voices talking inside.

“Remus, I love you, but all due respect he’s my son.” That was his mum’s voice… and it sounds like her and Remus were in a fight. He looked at his three friends and did a silent “shh” and put his ear against the door.

“Wow, Lil. I mean obviously I know he’s your son. But I love him too. And he deserves to know. It’s not right that you’re keeping it from him.” He heard Remus say. _Keeping what from him? What would his mum be keeping from him?_

“I just want him to have some kind of a normal life, Rem. I mean… I want him to enjoy his time at Hogwarts…”

“I know Lily… I know. I just… it’s not good, the rumors I’ve been hearing. Obviously that could be all they are… just rumors… but Harry has a right to know I mean… it concerns him.”

“We don’t know if it concerns him or not. I mean he was a baby when it all happened. Maybe it just concerns me and James.” Lily said that as if she were trying to convince herself. Harry had heard enough—whatever it was that they were talking about, he wanted to know. As he opened the door, his friends looked at one another and then sheepishly followed him in. Lily and Remus both jumped a bit and then calmed when they saw who it was.

“Hey boys! This is a surprise!” Lily said, a little too chirpy. She’s probably hoping Harry didn’t hear what they were talking about. “How’s Hogwarts treating you?”

“What don’t you want to tell me, mum? Why would you want to keep something from me? I never thought you’d want to lie to me.” Harry felt tears burning in his eyes. _Don’t cry. That’s so pathetic._

“Baby… it’s not that I want to lie to you… I just… I just didn’t want you to worry.” She said, looking to Remus for help.

“Uncle Moony, what? What is it? C’mon I can handle it.” Remus looked at Lily and she sighed in defeat.

“Harry… Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban…” Harry heard gasps from his three friends who had remained completely silent until now.

“Wha-what!? How… What!? I didn’t even think it was… like… possible to do that?” Harry sputtered. That couldn’t be good. He remembered that Death Eaters were followers of Voldemort… the everlasting wizard who tried to kill his parents and him when he was just a baby. How… _What!?_

“Well… I mean… it’s supposed to be impossible. This is the first time that it’s ever happened. Sirius heard from Narcissa that her sister Bellatrix was one of the three who escaped.” Remus looked very grim and Harry can’t remember ever seeing him look so concerned. Harry didn’t even know what to say. He felt someone grab his hand and he looked up and saw that it was Draco. Thankfully Draco found the words that Harry couldn’t.

“That’s horrible… especially if my Aunt Bellatrix has escaped… from what my mother tells me, she’s full on psycho for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But, what exactly does this have to do with Harry?” Draco asked them. That’s what Harry was trying to figure out too. Voldemort is dead as far as Harry knows… so of course having psycho witches and wizards running around is bad… but what part did Harry play in it?

“Do all the kids have to be apart of it, Remus?” Lily asked, pleading.

“Lily you know if we send Ron, Draco and Neville away that Harry’s going to tell them everything regardless, right?” Remus said, a smile playing on his lips. She rolled her eyes.

“Yes… he’s much like his father in that way.” She said, with a small grin. “Ok, boys. How much do you know about why You-Know-Who came after us?” They all just kind of shrugged and looked at each other.

“I only know what Harry’s told me… which I’m sure is what you and James told him.” Ron said. “Just that Harry was part of some messed up plan of his… to gain power?”

“That’s the shortened version… Technically Harry is known… to You-Know-Who at least, as ‘The Chosen One’. He’s part of some kind of prophecy that he needed to fulfill.” Lily said, it didn’t seem like she knew too many details too, or maybe she was just trying to lighten it up for them. But something didn’t sit right with him. He had never heard the term “The Chosen One” before he came to Hogwarts. He’d heard other names like “The Boy Who Lived” but never “The Chosen One”. He thought back to yesterday and his run in with Professor Snape.

_“I see your brains and articulation come from your father as well. I am Professor Snape. Do go back to your common room or I will write you up a detention. And we wouldn’t want_ _The Chosen One_ _to get detention on his first day at Hogwarts, now would we?”_

“Er… do lots of people know the term “The Chosen One”?” Harry asked. Lily and Remus looked at him confusedly.

“What do you mean?” Remus asked him.

“Is that term well-known to the Wizarding World, or is it something that only certain people know?”

“I would say that anyone who was in The Order of the Phoenix would know, and Death Eaters know. Why?” Lily said.

“Because yesterday I ran into Professor Snape in the hallway by accident and he called me that.”

“He… he’s in The Order of the Phoenix…” Lily said, not sounding too convincing. Remus chuckled at that.

“Dumbledore trusts him…” Remus said. That didn’t answer Harry’s question at all. “Why did he call you ‘The Chosen One’? Was he being a prat?” The boys laughed at that and Lily lightly hit Remus on the arm.

“Remus! He’s their teacher too!” Lily scolded. “But… how… did he say it in a mean way, Harry?”

“Yeah, kind of. I mean I had just bumped into him. But he told me that I was ‘arrogant like dad’ and that if I hung out with Moony and Padfoot that it would make sense that I was arrogant.”

“Gods I can’t believe he said that to a student... actually… I can. I ought to give him a piece of my mind-.”

“Remus… calm down. Let’s worry about one thing at a time.” Lily said, cutting him off.

“Mum, I guess I just don’t get what Draco’s psycho aunt escaping from Azkaban has to do with me.” Harry said, feeling more confused than when he didn’t know anything at all.

“Some people think that they can somehow… bring You-Know-Who back… that he… that he never really died he just kind of became so weak he disappeared... And it has to do with you because... well...”

”Because he wants me dead. Right?” The room grew completely silent, you could hear a pin drop.

“I...Harry… let the adults handle this, Ok? We will figure out what is going on and I will tell you. I’m sorry that I wanted to keep it from you… it’s just… I just want you to be safe.” Lily said. “I love you and… I’m glad you have friends with you.” Lily finished, looking at Draco, Neville and Ron. Harry blushed and Draco squeezed his hand that he was still holding, he forgot that he was, but then looked up at him and smiled. Ron put his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“We’ve got your back H. No matter what.” Ron said. Harry looked back at him and smiled. Neville nodded behind him and said, “Yeah. If anyone wants to mess with you, they’ll have to go though us.” Harry considered telling his mum about his scar hurting. He opened his mouth to say something but Lily started talking before he could. Good thing too, it would probably just worry her.

“Why don’t you guys get going to your dorms. It’ll be curfew soon.” Lily said, walking over to Harry and kissing him on the forehead.

“Wait.” Remus started. “Why did you lot come to my office in the first place? You didn’t know Lily would be in here.”

“Oh! I almost forgot with all the Death Eater talk. I found The Map in my suitcase! It’s so awesome Moony!” Remus smiled so wide and the four boys listened in awe as Remus told them all about the making of The Map.

.

.

.

They walked Neville and Draco back to their common room and Draco pulled him aside while Neville and Ron got sidetracked by some students talking about Qudditch.

“What’s up, Draco?” Harry asked him.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Draco asked, still holding on to Harry’s arm from when he pulled him over.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked. He was confused… he told Draco everything, sometimes probably too much information. 

“You were going to say something back in there, but then your mum cut you off.” Draco said. He didn’t sound accusing, he just sounded concerned.

“Oh… well...” He looked around to make sure no one was listening. “My… well you know my scar?” Harry asked dumbly.

“Hmm… you have a scar?” Draco said, sarcastically. Harry chuckled, which caused Draco to laugh too and he stuck his finger in Harry’s dimple. Harry blushed dark red and looked down.

“Ok… so your scar…?”

“Right… er… it’s been hurting. Like just kind of a dull ache. And at first I thought it might just be anxiety but… considering who I got it from…” He trailed off. Draco looked kind of concerned.

“What do you mean it’s been hurting? What kind of pain? Like a headache?”

“I guess kind of like a headache. Almost like a burning feeling.”

“What do you think it means?” Draco asked him.

“I have no clue. Probably nothing good though.”

“Do you think you should tell your mum?” Harry thought about it. Probably. His mum would probably want to know… but she already seemed so concerned about him.

“I… I probably should. But… just don’t… don’t say anything Ok? It’s not even that bad. It’s probably just because I’m thinking about it. Ya know?” Harry said, trying to sound reassuring. He didn’t think he was doing a very good job of that.

“What would your scar hurting even mean?” Draco wondered. Harry had no clue, he had been trying to figure that out for himself. Before he could even answer Draco, Ron and Neville walked back over to them. Harry and Ron said their goodbyes to their friends and walked back to their common room just in time for curfew.

“It’s going to be Ok, H.” Ron said. Harry looked up at him surprised. Was he that transparent?

“I just… It’s hard to believe that someone wants me and my family dead… you know?” Harry said. It sounded so weird to say that out loud. Realistically, he knew that Voldemort had tried to kill him and his parents… but he was too young to remember. Being so young, he didn’t really have that memory that his parents must have. This is new, this fear that someone is going to hurt the people he loves…

“You’ve got so many people looking out for you. Try not to worry… I know that’s not easy… your mum is the smartest witch I’ve ever met. Between her and Remus, they’re bound to figure out what exactly is going on.” Ron said, climbing into his bed. Harry climbed into his own and he smiled. Ron was right, Moony and his mum wouldn’t give up until they figured this out. He said goodnight to Ron and closed his drapes. He picked The Map up from his nightstand where he had set it down and unlocked it. He looked over all the names, Neville, Draco, Moony, his mum… and then all the other Hogwarts students and teachers.

Harry found it kind of fascinating to look at all the names on The Map. He could still hardly believe that it was a real thing that his dad and uncles made. In preparation for his first day of classes tomorrow he was looking over who all of his professors would be. For Transfiguration he had Professor McGonagall, for Charms, Professor Snape, Potions, his mum, Defense Against the Dark Arts with Moony and Astronomy with Professor Sinistra. Those were all the Professors that he knew. He had met them at certain things because of Moony and his mum. He had one professor that must be new to the school, for History of Magic he has Professor Quirrell. _Odd name_ he thought.

He closed The Map, locked it, and rolled over in his bed. His mind was going a mile a minute thinking about everything that he had learned today about Voldemort and… some prophecy... The only thing that made him feel better was that he had his friends there with him. He closed his eyes and saw Ron and Neville’s smiling face, telling him that he wasn’t going to face anything alone. He could still feel Draco’s hand in his, gripping it tight to let Harry know that he was there for him. He fell asleep smiling, thinking of bright blonde hair and grey eyes. He found that when he thought of the people he loved, he didn’t notice the pain from his scar as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at the beginning of the chapter is “the middle” by jimmy eat world! 
> 
> thank you for reading! as always let me know if there’s any crazy grammar or spelling errors :) i hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> please be kind, i write this for fun and that’s what fanfiction is for! <3


	4. mundane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry meets a new friend (?)  
> this chapter was lots of fun to write! it is kind of “filler-y” but i think it’s still fun! <3

_But I just wanna be  
Out of my head, out of my head  
Can you show me how it feels to be  
Out of my head, out of my head_

Harry was starting to get into a routine in Hogwarts. Of course he was nervous about the Death Eaters escaping… but he had his mum and Moony there to protect him, and his friends. He was just hoping he could get through his mum’s potion class…

“You’d think with your mum as the bloody potions professor you’d have some kind of gain… you’re just hopeless aren’t you?” Ron was stifling a laugh at their chosen seats in the back of the room. Harry kicked him and rolled his eyes.

“It’s confusing! Nothing ever makes sense, it’s as if they’re trying to make you muck it all up!” Harry whispered back. Seamus turned his head to them, slightly.

“Maybe if you two morons would stop talking so much you’d learn something.” He said, snickering with Dean. If they hadn’t known them so well, Harry’s feelings would be hurt. But dorming with them, he’s learned that Seamus is just like that, and Dean follows.

“Shove it, Finnegan.” Ron said, lightheartedly.

“Mr. Weasley. Mr. Potter!” His mum suddenly exclaimed. “Are the two of you quite finished? Or would you like to teach my class for me?” The students all laughed quietly and Ron and Harry looked down, blushing, murmuring a “Sorry Professor.” It was weird, at first, to call his mum and Moony ‘Professor’. But, he figured that’s really the best way. In the potions classroom she’s not his mum, she’s his teacher.

“I want you all to pair up for the term… but considering you’re all sitting next to your best mates... I’ll be choosing. Quiet down, now. I know… but you might even make a new friend, who knows?” She smiled brightly. He knew this sounded so embarrassing to say, but he thought his mum was one of the coolest people he’d ever known. She was just so honest and everyone liked her.

She started calling names and Harry’s mind wondered off. He didn’t like potions for a lot of reasons, and as bad as he felt about it (considering his mum’s the teacher) it couldn’t be helped. The biggest reason was that they shared this class with the Slytherins. He didn’t mean that in a mean way, but Harry just wished the Gryffindors could have every class with Hufflepuffs, sadly they only had History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts. He missed Draco when he wasn’t around him. Neville too of course. He just… he had a different kind of friendship with them both. He was snapped back into it when he heard his mum call his name.

“Harry Potter and Blaise Zabini.” Harry looked and tried to find who Blaise Zabini was. He was assuming that he was a Slytherin, his name didn’t seem too familiar. He saw a boy, dark skinned and brow eyed siting down next to him, and made the assumption that he must be Blaise. While his mum was pairing the rest of the class up Harry looked over at him. He smiled and reached his hand out.

“Hi.” He said sweetly. “I’m Harry. Harry Potter.” Blaise took his hand and smiled back, not nearly as big as Harry’s but a nice smile all in all.

“Yes… yes… I know you. Doesn’t everyone?” Blaise said, chuckling. “I’m Blaise Zabini. Pleasure.” He took his hand back and Harry couldn’t tell if he was trying to be mean or if that was just how he talked.

“Alright, now that everyone’s got their partners, and yes this is until the end of the term, please open your texts up to page 22. We’re going to start brewing a pretty simple potion today. I’ll be walking around if you need any help.” Harry grabbed his book and flipped to page 22.

“I’m going to be right up honest with you, mate… I’m rubbish at potions.” Harry said, sheepishly. Blaise gave him an odd look and laughed a little.

“Well, so much for me thinking I got the best partner I could get. Rubbish at potions?” He laughed again but it didn’t seem unkind. “Your mum is the professor!” Harry couldn’t help but smile, Blaise had a certain charisma to him that drew him in.

“Sorry…”

“Eh, it’s all right, mate. All in good fun. I’m actually quite good in potions. I’ve got your back.” By the end of the class potions didn’t seem as hard as Harry always made it out to be. Blaise actually explained things very well and he made it seem like actual words Harry could understand. When class had ended he said a polite goodbye to Blaise and went to find Ron, who’d been paired with Hermione.

“Ron!” Harry called, catching him and Hermione as they were walking out of the room. Ron turned to him.

“Hey mate, I was going to wait for you just outside the classroom.” Harry caught up in pace to the two of them and they kept walking down the corridor. “How was Zabini? I heard he can be a right knob.”

“Really?” This surprised Harry because Blaise was nothing but nice to him. “I dunno. I thought he was cool. We got on really well, actually. Did’ya hear he was a knob just ‘cause he’s a Slytherin?” Harry asked him. Ron laughed.

“Maybe… I dunno. Fred and George told me that Slytherins are gits.” That made Harry laugh, because if anything, why would he take something Fred and George said seriously.

“You outta know that it’s bollocks then.” He said to him, still laughing a bit. “What about you two?” Harry asked, wanting to include Hermione in the conversation. “Did you finish the assignment Ok?” Hermione smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. We did pretty well I think.” Hermione said, modestly.

“Please… there’s no ‘we’ to it. Hermione is bloody brilliant in potions!” Ron said, clapping her on the shoulder. She blushed deeply.

“You were lots of help, Ron. Honest.” She said smiling at him.

“Well… thanks. But you outta take most of the credit.” She smiled and they politely chit chatted until they made it to the Great Hall. They all sat down together and started eating lunch. Harry looked over to the Hufflepuff table where Neville and Draco were sitting with their housemates. He thought it was dumb that they sat according to house… he missed them. But no one said you _had_ to sit with just your house, right? It was more like an unspoken rule.

“Ron, let’s go sit next to Draco and Nev.” Harry said, grabbing his backpack. Ron was biting into a chicken leg and looked up at Harry.

“Are we allowed to do that?” he asked, mouth full of chicken.

“I dunno, but who cares? I wanna talk to them, we haven’t seen them in so long.”

“Harry we saw them last night.” Ron said, laughing but grabbing his backpack. Harry frowned.

“Ok, fine. Stay here then.” He got up and started walking over to them.

“I’m joking!” He said, getting up too. “Wanna come, Hermione?” Ron asked, and she followed suit.

Harry sat right next to Draco and he looked at him surprised, but smiled bright.

“Hey you.” He said. “Whatcha doing over here?”

“I missed you… and Nev.” Harry said. For some reason he felt his cheeks turning red. Ron sat down across from Harry.

“He was on a mission to eat lunch with you guys. Mind if we join?” Ron said, kind of asking the table. All of them smiled and nodded. The Hufflepuffs seemed much more approachable than any of the other houses. Neville was in a conversation with a girl who he believed was named Hannah, but Harry wasn’t positive.

“So, how was your day?” Draco asked him, shoveling some soup in his mouth.

“It’s been Ok. We had potions just before and I was partnered with Blaise Zabini.” Draco’s eyes shot up and he put his spoon down.

“Blaise Zabini?” Draco repeated. He looked… almost angry. Harry can’t remember a time when he’d ever seen Draco mad before. Of course they’d gotten in arguments over the years, but they’ve never been mad at each other, at least not for a long period of time.

“Er… yeah?” Harry said, confused. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Uh… yeah. My… our dads are friends. I’ve hung out with him a few times.” Draco said, picking his spoon back up.

“What’s up Draco? What aren’t you telling me?” Harry asked, suddenly feeling concerned.

“Nothing… nothing. Just… nothing. Do you like him?” He asked Harry.

“Er… I mean he seemed really nice. He helped me understand potions a lot better. You know how rubbish I am at potions. I don’t know… he seemed really cool. And it helped that he was super easy to talk to. He had-.”

“Ok… I get it. He’s sent from the gods.” Draco said, cutting Harry off. He’d never seen Draco act like this before. It was… almost like he was jealous or something.

“I… are you mad at me? What did I do?” Harry was so confused as to why he seemed so upset. Draco must of seen the confusion on Harry’s face and his scowl softened. He looked at Harry and sighed.

“No… I’m not. I’m sorry. It’s kind of… He just… him and I don’t get on, Ok? It’s nothing against Blaise or anything. We’re just not… I don’t know. Our dads are friends so we have to see each other sometimes, like when they hang out… but it’s Ok. I just don’t like him is all.” Draco said, sounding very hushed. It was like he was trying to get it out so that they could stop talking about it… and Harry understood that feeling, but he was so confused. He thought he knew everything about Draco.

“Well…. He’s my potions partner… it’s not like we’re going to be making friendship bracelets any time soon… I mean we got on pretty well in class today. But... what did he do? I obviously don’t want to like him anymore if he was mean to you.” Harry said, making sure that Draco knew he came first.

“No… no, no, no. It’s nothing like that. I think we just don’t get on. He’s just… we’re… it’s Ok, Harry. I’m sorry I acted like a prat at first. I was just a bit shocked.” Draco smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He knew there was something that he wasn’t telling him… but he’ll revisit it another time. Harry smiled back at him and, of course, he put his finger in the dimple of his smile. They stayed like that for a minute, just looking at each other. The moment was broken when Hermione coughed loudly, clearly trying to get their attention. The boys broke apart and flushed bright red.

“Sorry… what… er- what were you saying, Hermione?” Harry asked, a little annoyed that she had embarrassed him.

“Just that we should get going to Defense Against the Dark Arts.” She grabbed her book bag and they all started getting up, since the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor first years had that class together. Draco and Harry looked at each other one more time before following their friends out of the Great Hall.

.

.

.

When Ron and Harry made it back to their dorm at the end of the day Harry got in his bed and closed the curtains. He wanted to look at The Marauder’s Map some more. It was so interesting to him to watch all the names walking around the castle. He heard Ron, Seamus and Dean talking about something, but he couldn’t really bring himself to listen. He looked for all the names he knew, it was almost like a game for him now. He found his mum, Moony, Draco, Neville, Dumbledore and all his professors. Professor Quirrell was the only one who didn’t seem to be in his office. He was wandering around and there was a name trailing right behind him, almost on top of him.

“Tom Riddle?” Harry asked himself, out loud. He didn’t think he’d ever heard that name before. Was he a professor for the older students? Or maybe he was just visiting Quirrell? Harry didn’t care all that much, he just thought it was strange that they were walking so close together, maybe they were holding hands?

Harry closed the map, whispered _mischief managed_ and placed it on his bedside table. He thought of Draco and how he’d lied to him about Blaise. It hurt his feelings, but he didn’t want to tell Draco that and be a baby about it. But... why did he lie? Harry would always be on his side, didn’t he know that?

He sighed and thought more about what his mum and Moony told him the other day, about the prisoners who escaped from Azkaban. He wondered how much Draco’s mum really told him about his crazy aunt… and just how crazy she really was. Was he really in danger? Was there really a way for Voldemort to… come back? Had he even died at all? These were questions that Harry probably shouldn’t have been asking himself, but he couldn’t help it… it’s all been in the back of his mind since he was told about it.

Harry felt like things were going to get much worse before they got better… and he just hoped that “much worse” didn’t mean a war…

but when you’re young you hope for a lot of impossible things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at the beginning is ‘mundane’ by hardcastle 
> 
> thanks for reading! :) as always please let me know if there are any crazy spelling or punctuation errors! (i don’t have anyone editing this for me... so sorry if there are!!!) 
> 
> reminder that this is fanfiction so it’s BASED off of the harry potter series, but i have changed the characters, the way they act and a bit of who they are so it’s a lot different. if you’re wanting something super canon complacent then this is not that! however, i think it’s gonna be so fun! <3 
> 
> please let me know if you enjoyed it <3


	5. jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jealousy between friends causes a big fight.

_But I'm amazed at how we talk  
It's so chill  
But there’s tension  
What was the deal when your eyes locked on me  
What was the deal when you smiled at me like that  
You see I try to be cool, but the problem is using my emotions up  
My head gets stuck  
I'm scared to show just how I feel  
'Cause people talk_

“Ok, listen up!” Remus said to his class of first years. Everyone immediately turned their heads. All the students loved Remus so it was easy for them to listen. “Ok, we’re going to be working on our defensive spells again. This week we are going to learn about ‘Expelliarmus’. Who can tell me what that spell is for?” A few hands shot up and Remus eyed Harry, who did not put his hand up, probably because he knew that Harry knew the answer. Harry just shrugged. “Miss. Granger?”

“Expelliarmus disarms your opponent and gives you the opportunity to grab their wand from them.” Remus smiled and Hermione and looked proud.

“Very good, 5 points to Gryffindor.” The Gryffindors in the class all looked very pleased. “Exactly what Miss. Granger said. So, we are going to talk about wand techniques and then next class we will practice it in motion. Sound good?” The kids in the class nodded and Remus went on to explain the proper way to hold your wand.

When class ended Harry made his way back to the common room. He wanted to check the map before dinner, he liked to check it every so often and see if anything had changed. Ron, Draco, Neville and Hermione were all heading to the Great Hall and Harry told them he’d meet up with them in a bit. He was almost at the common room when he heard his name being called and he looked back to see Blaise fast walking to catch up with him.

“Oh. Hey Blaise!” Harry said, cheerfully. “What’s going on?”

“You’re quick. I’ve been trying to catch up with you since the Transfiguration classroom.” Blaise said, laughing. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to work on the potions assignment soon.” He said, catching up in stride with Harry. He smiled and thought about it. He didn’t have to go to the Great Hall, he wasn’t even that hungry. Plus, Moony told him a trick with the pear painting so he could get something to eat later.

“Yeah, sure. Wanna go to my common room?” Blaise faltered and thought about it.

“Er… I dunno how welcome a Slytherin would be in the Gryffindor commons. What if we went to an abandoned classroom? I know one that’s never in use. Follow me!” Harry didn’t think that any of the Gryffindors would really care that much, but he wanted Blaise to be comfortable, so he followed him to the classroom.

After working on their assignment for a bit Harry found himself thinking about how much he liked Blaise. He was very easy to talk to and Harry didn’t find that in most people that he knew. Not that Harry was a shy person by any means, but he struggled with being the one to go out and talk to new people. Blaise was just a very approachable person. He wondered what could have happened between him and Draco to warrant Draco’s reaction to him. Maybe Blaise could fill in the dots.

“Hey Blaise?” He asked him, he looked up from his work. “Er… well. You know how I’m friends with Draco Malfoy?” Blaise nodded and got a weird look on his face.

“Yeah… why?”

“Well… he kind of said that you guys maybe… don’t get along. And he wouldn’t tell me why that is.” Harry felt kind of bad going behind Draco’s back, but he just wanted some answers. Blaise looked like he was debating whether he should answer the question, but he finally sighed and looked at Harry.

“Look... I don’t want to say anything bad about Draco. Honestly? I like him. I’ve never had an issue with him. But my dad has an issue with his dad and he asked me to not be friends with Draco and he kind of took it hard when I told him that my dad said that. I don’t know. His dad is a knob though, I’m sorry. I know he’s your best friend, but…” Harry nodded along with Blaise. He was well aware of how big of a knob Mr. Malfoy was and it didn’t surprise him that this all stemmed from him. “I don’t know Harry. Honestly, I’ve told Draco I don’t have a problem with him. Maybe he thinks I don’t like him. But I don’t have the best relationship with my dad so I just kind of try to do what he says so he lays off of me, ya know?”

Honestly, Harry didn’t know. He had a great relationship with his dad. He could always talk to him about anything and he knew that his dad would support him. He felt a bit bad for Blaise in this moment. But he nodded and just felt happy that Blaise gave him some information. Maybe now he could talk to Draco about it and they could all be friends.

“Ok… well thank you for telling me. I don’t think Draco would ever want to not like someone because of something so silly. Maybe I could talk to him?” Blaise just smiled and looked at him for a moment. Harry was confused on what he had said that warranted such a look.

“You know, Harry. You’re probably the nicest person I’ve ever met. I mean… you don’t even know me that well and yet… thanks, mate.” Harry felt his face turn red under the compliment. He didn’t think it was anything special… his mum and dad always told him to treat everyone with kindness… it was just something he didn’t even think about at this point.

“It’s nothing. What are friends for, right?” Blaise grabbed his shoulder and grinned.

“Right!”

.

.

.

When Harry and Blaise finally parted ways it was almost curfew. He got back to his dorm and Ron was waiting by his bed, looking worried along with Neville and Draco. Dean and Seamus were sitting in their beds.

“Hey lads.” Harry said, walking in.

“ ‘Hey lads’? That’s all you’re gonna say? I’ve been worried sick! We even went to your mum to see if you were with her! Where have you been!?” Draco said, practically yelling. Harry felt like a child being scolded. He didn’t do anything wrong, but he supposed he should’ve told his friends where he was going.

“I… I was working on my potions assignment with Blaise. I guess… we just took longer than we thought…” He saw Draco visibly pull back from the conversation.

“Why didn’t you come and tell us you weren’t coming to dinner?” Ron asked, as they were calming down a bit.

“I dunno… I just forgot, sorry I worried you all. We just got caught up talking.” Neville and Ron seemed much more calm after having Harry explain this, but Draco just looked angry.

“Alright, Draco?” Harry asked.

“Fine. Let’s go Nev. We better get back to our dorm by curfew.” And Draco walked out without another word. Neville looked confused but said bye to Harry and Ron and followed him.

“Is Draco mad at me?” Harry asked Ron as he started walking over to his own bed. Harry began to change into his nightclothes. Ron shrugged.

“Draco’s such a moody prat sometimes, isn’t he? How should I know? I’m sure he’ll be fine tomorrow. At least it’s Friday and we don’t have lessons tomorrow.” Ron said goodnight and closed his curtains. Harry couldn’t sleep, he tossed and turned thinking about Draco. It’s not like Harry did something mean to him, why was he so angry? He should’ve told them he was meeting Blaise, but he didn’t think it’d be such a big deal.

.

.

.

Harry got out of bed and dressed at around 7:30. It was a Saturday so his dorm mates slept in, but Harry could hardly sleep at all, let alone sleep in. He decided to get up and get to breakfast early. Knowing his mum she’d already be down there… but it’s not like he’d want to be the pathetic first year who sits with his mummy at meals. Hopefully someone else would be down there. Thankfully he saw Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table already.

“Hey Hermione.” Harry said, sitting across from her. “How’re you this morning?” Hermione looked up at him brightly.

“Oh Hi Harry.” She said kindly. “I’m doing fine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you down at breakfast this early.” She said to him. In the short 2 months that they had known each other, he feels like they’ve become pretty good friends. She is a bit annoying, but Harry thinks that could just be because she knows actually everything. So maybe not annoying… but just a bit much sometimes. He would never tell her that of course. He enjoyed talking to her for the most part.

“Yeah… first time for everything.” Harry said, laughing. “I er… I dunno. I couldn’t sleep last night.” He said, sheepishly.

“Oh I’m sorry. Is there something wrong?” She asked him. With a knowing look. Girls always know about feelings and stuff… maybe that’s why he didn’t like to hang around them as much. He shrugged.

“I… I just think that Draco is mad at me. And I dunno I guess it’s making me feel bad. Especially because I didn’t do anything wrong.” Harry said, reluctantly making eye contact with her. She frowned and looked down, Harry assumed because she was thinking, and then looked back up at him.

“What’s the reason he’s mad at you?”

“Last night I said I’d meet you all in the Great Hall for dinner but then Blaise, my potions partner, wanted to work on our assignment so I never did. I know I should’ve mentioned something about not meeting there… but he was so mad last night… it’s like… I dunno. Like he was jealous because I am kind of… a little bit friends with Blaise.”

“Why would that upset him?” That was the nice thing about girls, Harry thought, they genuinely were good listeners because they want to help you with your… feelings or whatever.

“He doesn’t like Blaise, and he won’t tell me why but something to do with their dads… And I don’t know he’s always been sort of like… protective of me? But I’m that way with him too. I think he just got…” Harry trailed off. He didn’t really know what to say because he didn’t know why Draco was upset. He assumed that it was that.. but only Draco knows.

“I think the best thing to do is to ask Draco. He’ll have the answer. Assuming is never good, and it’s always best to talk things out anyways.” Hermione said, taking a sip of apple juice. That was a good point, the only one who can give him the answers he’s looking for is Draco. And… they’re best friends. They’ll hopefully get over whatever issue it is.

“Thanks Hermione. You’re really good at advice.” She smiled at him and they sat in comfortable silence until Dean and Seamus came down at sat next to them.

“No Ron yet?” Harry asked them. They both laughed.

“Nah. We even tried yanking him out, but it didn’t work.” Dean said, picking up a piece of bacon. This didn’t surprise Harry in the slightest. From all the sleepovers they’ve had in their friendship, Harry knows it’s nearly impossible to get Ron to wake up on a weekend.

When Harry saw Neville and Draco sit down at the Hufflepuff table he immediately went over and found his way next to them. Neville looked awkwardly between the two and got up claiming that “there was a draft where he was sitting”. He looked at Draco and sighed.

“Look… I know you’re mad at me… but I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking and I didn’t think you’d take it so hard… but I should’ve thought about you guys.” Harry said, looking directly at him. Draco paused for a second and then took a deep breath.

“Harry I wasn’t ever mad at you… you just don’t think sometimes. My psycho aunt and 2 other Death Eaters escaped from Azkaban. Do you know how hard that must be? How much motivation they must’ve had to do that? They want you dead… probably. You can’t just… you can’t run off like that, Ok?” Draco said, looking at Harry so hard that he thought there’d be a hole in his head. Of course Draco was worried about the Death Eaters… _I’m an idiot._ He thought.

“I’m… I wasn’t thinking. But I wasn’t alone. Blaise was with me.” Harry said, trying to make Draco feel a bit better. It apparently didn’t work and put a sour look on Draco’s face.

“That doesn’t make me feel better, funny enough.” He said, sarcastically Neville must have sensed the awkwardness subsiding because he came back and sat down next to Draco.

“You guys friends again?” He asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

“So dramatic Nev. It was just a disagreement. Right, Draco?” Harry said, hoping that mentioning Blaise had not ruined their reconciliation. Draco smiled tightly and laughed.

“Of course. Nev... if Harry is calling you dramatic, you know it’s bad.” Neville just rolled his eyes.

“Right… coming from you, drama queen.” The three of them laughed and Harry finally felt like he could breathe again.

.

.

.

“Come in.” Remus said, as Harry knocked on his office door. He walked in and sat down in a chair opposite Remus’ desk.

“Hey professor.” Harry said, grinning. “I have a really important school question.” Remus turned from where he was filing some things and had a huge grin on his face.

“Oh, really?” He asked. “What would those important school questions be?” He said, sitting down at his desk chair.

“Well,” Harry started, pulling the map out of his pocket. “I need to know the best way to find all the secret passageways on here.” Harry said, and then muttered _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._

“The best way to find them all is go around with the map with your friends. Definitely don’t go alone. And… as your professor I must tell you that I do not condone rule breaking of any kind.” Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Remus cracked a smile. “But as your marauding uncle I have to show you my favorite secret passageway.” Harry stood up with he map and walked next to Remus behind his desk and Remus showed him a few of his favorites.

.

.

.

“So, do you want to go with me later tonight? Not past curfew but late enough where maybe people won’t be out in the corridors.” Harry said, sitting down with Ron, Neville and Draco. The three boys nodded excitedly and looked around making sure no one was listening.

“Yeah we’ll be proper marauders then, yeah?” Ron said, smiling wide. “Do you reckon your dad will let you bring your… special cloak next year?” Harry sighed.

“It wasn’t dad who didn’t want me to bring it. But I think mum just wanted at least my first year to be… I dunno… he’ll prolly sneak it in my chest on holiday.”

“Nev and I promised Ernie that we’d help him with the defense paper. He was so bloody confused. We’ll meet you at the Great Hall for our…” Draco looked pained as he said this, “marauding…” Neville looked very pleased and followed Draco out of the Gryffindor common room. Harry thought for a moment about that name he had seen on the map, _Tom Riddle,_ and how he wanted to ask Ron if he knew who that was.

“Ron, do you know anyone called Tom Riddle?” Harry asked him. Ron looked up at him and thought for a second.

“I dunno… I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

“I saw his name right next to Professor Quirrell’s on the map.” Harry explained. Ron scrunched his face in confusion before shrugging.

“Not sure, mate. Maybe he’s Quirrell’s boyfriend or a friend visiting or something.” Harry sighed lightly. That’s what he’d assumed too, so that didn’t help at all. He supposed he couldn’t expect Ron to know if he didn’t either. “You know who you should ask though? Hermione. She knows just about anything about everything. It’s mad. Amazing… but mad.” Ron said, picking up one of the two Quidditch Weekly magazines. Harry picked up the other one and began flipping through it. He saw one wizard who had blonde hair and grey eyes. He looked a lot like Draco, except Draco’s hair was much brighter than this Quidditch player’s. He kept flipping through looking at all the pictures. He looked up and saw Ron laughing, seemingly at him.

“What?” He asked him, feeling insecure.

“Nothing, mate. You’re just not even reading the pages.” Ron said, going back to his. Who actually read the pages in Quidditch Weekly? He thought to himself. He turned bright red.

“I just… I dunno I like looking at the pictures…” He said, quietly, setting the magazine down. When Ron was about to say something else, Hermione joined him on the couch.

“Hey Ron, hey Harry.” She said, setting her books down on the table. Ron looked over at her and smiled.

“Hey Hermione. How’s your Saturday been?” He asked.

“Oh, it’s been lovely. Got a lot of work done. I saw you slept in.” She said, grinning.

“It’s what Saturday’s were created for, Hermione.” Harry laughed at that, and Hermione did too. They sat in silence, reading their respective magazines, or in Hermione’s case a big brown book that looked a bit scary in Harry’s opinion. But Harry thought to himself how glad he felt at that moment. His scar wasn’t hurting, and he had really great friends sitting there with him.

.

.

.

“It should be right around this corner.” Harry said, looking down at the map. But… it was another dead end. How did his dad and Moony and Padfoot do this… they made the entire thing.

“Maybe… let’s call it quite for tonight. We can have Remus show us the ropes. It’s probably almost curfew anyway-.” Neville was cut off by a sneering voice. Harry quickly whispered _mischief managed_ as the boys spun around in shock.

“Close, Mr. Longbottom. But it’s not _almost_ curfew. It’s past curfew.” Snape said, looking at the four boys in front of him. He rolled his eyes.

“Just like your father, Potter. No regard for the rules. What’s that in your hand?” He asked, gesturing to the map.

“Just a bit of parchment.” Harry said, quickly. “We… er… we were doing some uh… research for my mum’s class. You know my mum right?” Harry asked, trying to distract him from the map. There was no chance Snape was getting it.

“Of course, Potter. I went to school with your parents. And your… uncles. If you could call them that.” Harry felt a surge of anger flare in his chest.

“They are my uncles.” He said firmly. “Weren’t you friends with my mum in school?” Harry asked, feeling brave. The bravery went away very quick when he saw the look that Professor Snape was giving him.

“I know you think you’re some kind of royalty, Potter. But you’re not. You’re nothing but a poor copy of your ignorant father.” The boys all shifted awkwardly and Harry had to clench his mouth hard so he wouldn’t talk back to Snape and get them all into more trouble.

“Detention for the four of you. Lucky for you, I’m serving a detention right now.” He said.

“After curfew?” Draco asked.

“Follow me.” Snape said with a swish of his cloak and the boys did as he said. Harry quickly stuck the map in his pocket so that hopefully Professor Snape will have forgotten about by the time they get where they’re going. They found themselves in Snape’s office and he stopped abruptly. Harry had to practically fling himself backwards so he didn’t fall into him.

“Now,” Snape started.. “My office needs cleaning.” He pulled out four tiny brushes and handed them to the boys. “No magic, I’ll be able to tell. Better get started. I’ll be back in one hour.” Harry, Ron, Draco and Neville looked at each other and then all sighed and began cleaning.

“I wonder why Snape hates your dad and uncles so much Harry.” Neville said, already sweating from the cleaning.

“My mum and dad said they all had a bit of rivalry… I dunno. But now he hates me by default.” Harry said, glumly.

“Don’t worry Harry. I hear he only likes Slytherins anyway, so he hates all of us too.” Ron said, causing Harry and Neville to laugh.

“Well… maybe you’ll be in luck then Harry.” Draco said, harshly.

“Er… what?” Harry asked, feeling like Draco was mad at him again.

“You know, with your new Slytherin BFF. Maybe Snape will see you as a Slytherin and lay off of you.” Harry winced at Draco’s cruel tone.

“What’s your problem, Draco?” Ron asked, standing up. “Stop being passive aggressive towards him and just tell him why you’re pissed. You told him earlier you weren’t mad, but that was clearly a lie.” Harry felt like he was a child, with Ron standing up for him like that, but he was thankful. He didn’t know if he could be brave like that to Draco.

“My problem is that he doesn’t seem to care that there’s murdering psychos out there who want him dead and who want to bring back the evil bastard who almost killed him. He’s reckless and…” he stopped and addressed Harry directly now. “You’re reckless and you don’t care if you get hurt. But guess who cares? We do. We care and you could have a little self respect to not be wandering around the halls with some lanky Slytherin git who is probably just using you to make me pissed or something!” Draco was yelling now and Harry was officially mad. Who the hell did he think he was, his mum?

“First of all… not everything in my life is about you. I don’t have to tell you everything I do. I already apologized for not telling you I was doing _a project_ with Blaise. We were working on an assignment! What the hell is your problem with him anyway!? Because I asked him and he told me he didn’t have a problem with you… so it must be all in your head!”

“You asked him about me! What the heck, Harry? Why would you do that?” Draco said, practically turning red with anger.

“Because you weren’t telling me anything! I just wanted to know what the problem was between you two!” Harry screamed back at him.

“It’s none of your business!”

“Yeah just like my life is none of yours! I can do whatever I want. You’re not my keeper. And frankly I don’t need this. I have enough to worry about without dealing with your mood swings! I swear sometimes you’re just like your father!” Harry heard Ron and Neville gasp at that, and he regretted it as soon as he said it- but it was too late. He saw Draco visibly pull back before Draco slapped him across the face. Harry caught his cheek where he had hit him and looked at Draco in astonishment. In their 6 years of friendship they had never gotten in a physical fight… or any fight at all really. Harry didn’t even know what to do.

“What? Can’t fight back, Potter?” Draco said. Harry looked up at him and punched him square in the face. The Draco tackled him to the ground and they were pulling each other’s hair, scratching at each other, doing anything at all to ensure that the other lost. Harry could hear Ron and Neville screaming for them to get up, he even felt them trying to pull them apart but it didn’t give. The only thing that did was Professor Snape’s loud, angered voice screaming, “Potter! Malfoy! Get up right now!” The boys let go of each other and stood up. Harry’s hair was askew and his glasses were practically falling off his face, there was a big red mark on his cheek from where Draco slapped him and some blood on his lip. Draco’s robes were torn and he had 4 big bruises on his face. They looked down as they waited for whatever Professor Snape’s punishment was going to be.

“3 weeks detention you two. Never in my life… get to bed. I will see you every night for 3 weeks. 30 points from Gryffindor and from Hufflepuff. Disgraceful. Get to your dorms. Immediately.” The boys didn’t even glance at each other as they made their way to their perspective common rooms. Harry heard Neville say to Draco that he should go to the Hospital Wing… so Harry decided his injuries could wait till morning. He couldn’t even stand to look at Draco right now. Him and Ron walked back to their dorm in complete silence. When they got to their room, they both got ready for bed and Harry sat down on his. Ron came over and sat down next to him.

“Well… that was… what the bloody hell was that?” Ron asked, in shock. Harry understood his utter confusion, because he was feeling the same. He didn’t understand where all of Draco’s anger came from… all because he was sort of friends with Blaise?

“I… I don’t know. I know I’m not innocent but… he started it. Gods I mean… what a wanker! What was he on!?” Harry said, feeling himself get mad all over again. Ron shook his head.

“Look mate, I’m not saying that Draco didn’t start it but I mean why’d you let it wind you up so badly? You’re meant to be the sensible one. I don’t want to get stuck in the middle and I’m sure Nev feels the same way.” Harry didn’t have an answer to that. Why did he let it get to him so bad? He guessed maybe it was because Draco was acting like he was the boss of him… and he was being so weird about Blaise… “And that snide comment about his dad… I know you were mad but that was harsh, Harry.” Ron finished.

“I know... but I mean… he said mean things to me too!” Harry said, trying to justify it to himself. He couldn’t think of a good answer for Ron.

“You two have always had a different relationship… you’ve always had this… weird… tension almost. Like you’re bound so tightly that eventually you’re going to snap. I think that’s what happened tonight. But you’re being a wanker too. You both need to get over it. I know you have some weird feelings for him or... I don’t know... whatever! But it’s not cool that you said all that. And it’s not cool for him either, I’m not saying that you’re the only one to blame…” Ron’s words echoed in his head,

 _I know you have some weird feelings for him…_

“What do you mean, weird feelings for him?” Harry asked him, ignoring the rest of what he’d said. That didn’t make any sense. He cared about Draco the same as he did for Nev and Ron.

“Just… I didn’t mean anything by it Harry. Don’t read into it.”

“You obviously meant something.” Harry said, adamantly.

“It’s not news that you and Draco have some weird… bond. Ok? I just meant your guys’ friendship is different. It’s special. And it shouldn’t be ruined by some dumb fight, Ok? You’re going to see him at detention. Maybe you can try to talk to him.” Ron said, patting Harry on the back.

“I’ll see…” Harry said, mostly because he didn’t have a clue what to say to Ron... and also because Harry didn’t think he had to be the one to apologize.

“You sure you can wait on the Hospital Wing?” Ron asked him. Harry nodded. “Ok. Night.” He got up and went to his own bed. Harry laid down and stared up at the ceiling.

_I know you have some weird feelings for him._

_Your guys’ friendship is different. It’s special._

What was Ron trying to say? That Harry cared more about Draco than he did about Ron and Neville? That just simply wasn’t true. He… he cared for all of them in different ways. Neville has always been like a little brother, he always wanted to protect Nev and he felt that surge of brotherhood. With Ron it was like he was… almost like his twin. They both liked the same things and they had that brotherly bond too. With Draco it _had_ always been a bit different. It never felt like Draco was his brother… it was more like… he couldn’t explain it.

_I know you have some weird feelings for him._

Harry didn’t know yet, just how right Ron was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at the beginning is called ‘kiss the boy’ by keiynan lonsdale
> 
> thank you sm for reading i love u with my whole heart. please let me know how you enjoyed it, this chapter was so fun to write and it was a lot longer than my usual chapters. i was on a roll. 
> 
> as always remember that this is fanfiction and it’s supposed to be fun! i enjoy writing it and it’s fun for me, so don’t take it to seriously! also i don’t have anyone editing this for me so please excuse any horrendous spelling or grammar errors! 
> 
> if you guys would be interested in who i picture as the characters let me know! i’d love to share so you have an idea what i’m thinking of when i write it!
> 
> also... who do you think should be the one to apologize? draco or harry? 
> 
> hope you liked it! xoxo


	6. black butterflies and déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***TW*** harry has a panic attack in this chapter. i have anxiety and this was the best way i could explain my own anxiety attacks in words... so i hope it makes sense. obviously everyone’s are different! 
> 
> also harry has some really confusing feelings in this chapter. i’m gonna be real with you this version of harry, my version of harry, is me tbh. i didn’t mean to, but i’ve kind of made him a lot like me and so his journey through his sexuality and just like... his own feelings... it’s just things i’ve felt. so these feelings in this chapter are very real feelings that 11 year old me... felt. lol. i also wrote james and lily as how i wish my parents dealt with my anxiety and my coming out stuff. just living vicariously you know... 
> 
> anyways, my point is that it’s not triggering, at least in my opinion, but he’s kind of figuring out he may not be straight... ya feel? 
> 
> anyways!!! enjoy! :)

_What, what would you say_

_if you could say everything you needed to,_

_to the one you needed to._

The next few weeks past in a whirlwind. Harry was more stressed than he ever remembered being. He couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t sleep, could barley eat. This fight with Draco was tearing him apart inside. The only thing that made him feel slightly better was that Neville said Draco was feeling the same way. They saw each other at their detention for Snape, but luckily he had them doing separate assignments, so they only saw each other briefly.

You see, when you have two stubborn 11-year-old boys… it’s hard to tell who’s bound to break first. Harry knew that he wanted to apologize… but he feels like he’s always the one to apologize and truth be told? He was still very pissed at Draco… On top of the fight with Draco he has the psycho Death Eaters who probably want to kill him to worry about too… so that’s fun for him.

Thankfully Christmas break starts tomorrow, so he can finally spend more than a few hours in the weekend with his dad. The only thing he wasn’t looking forwards to was their annual Christmas Eve party… because Draco would come like he did every year. Harry tried to only focus on getting to see his dad, Ephie, Sirius and Marley. _It’s going to be good_ he thought. _Drama free and no worries._

“You got everything, mate?” Ron asked him as Harry closed his trunk. “Got The Map?” Harry patted his shirt pocket and nodded.

“Yup. Got everything I need.” He said, pulling his trunk up and beginning to head towards the door.

“Everything?” Ron asked. Harry turned back at him, confused.

“Er… yeah? C’mon Ron.” Ron walked over to Harry’s bedside table and picked up his wand that was just sitting there.

“Sure you don’t want this?” Ron said, snickering and holding up his wand. Harry turned red and snatched it from Ron and walked out of their room.

“Shut up.” He muttered.

“I swear you’d forget you head if it wasn’t attached.” Ron said, following him out of the room.

The first thing Harry did when he got home was collapse onto his bed. The one at Hogwarts is comfortable enough, but there’s just something about your own bed. Then he heard tiny footsteps and giggling and he rolled his eyes. Ephie was going to try to scare him and she popped in and yelled “Gotcha!” Harry pretended to be scared and ran over and picked her up.

“You got me, Ephs!” He shouted flipping her onto his back. She was giggling madly and Harry jogged into the kitchen where his dad and mum were sitting on the couch. James stood up and grabbed Ephie from Harry’s back and plopped her onto the couch. Lily tickled her and James grabbed Harry and hugged him. He didn’t want to seem lame, but James Potter was just such an easy person to love. And luckily, he was his dad. James squeezed him so tight that Harry was sure he might break in half and he hugged him back.

“I missed you, kid.” James said, still holding onto him. Harry sighed in his father’s arms. After his fight with Draco, the Death eaters escaping… he just really needed a hug.

“I missed you too Harry!” Ephie shouted, squeezing herself in between the hug. Harry laughed and leaned down.

“I missed you too Ephie.” He said. She smiled brightly at him.

“So, what are doing first?” Lily said, walking over to her family. “Maybe we can do a good old fashioned Potter family game night?” That sounded like a perfect night in Harry’s opinion.

“Oh… what a great idea.” James said, hugging Lily more. He looked at his parents with awe. His dad had so much like… passion? Just the way he cared about his mum was unreal. The passion that he had for her… the way he looked at her… Harry didn’t think he’d ever have anything like that. His mum and dad were soulmates, Moony and Padfoot were soulmates… that’s a lot of pressure. How are you even supposed to know who you like… let alone find your soulmate? In Harry’s opinion… never dating at all seemed like the perfect option. There wasn’t even anyone who interested him…but he’s only 11 for gods sake, if anything little crushes you have when you’re 11 are just puberty’s way of telling you that _hey you’re growing up… look there’s someone who’s cute._ Harry didn’t think he had a crush on anyone… how’re you even supposed to know?

“Looks like there’s a lot going on up there.” He heard his dad say, while tapping Harry’s head. He laughed lightly and looked up at his dad.

“Nah… just. I’m just happy to see you, dad.” Harry said to him. James smiled wide.

“Me too, H. I know… lots been going on. But you’ve got lots of people looking out for you, Ok?” James said, squeezing Harry’s shoulder.

“Yeah. I know, dad.”

”How’d you like the map?” His dad asked him, smiling wickedly. “Moony told me a little but I want to hear from you!” Harry went in depth to his dad about how cool the map was and how much he absolutely adored it and he could tell his dad was so happy about it... his son becoming a Marauder just like him.

“So, do you want to invite your friends over this weekend? We can have a good old fashioned luncheon. Merlin knows Sirius would do anything for a mimosa.” Harry shifted uncomfortably. He was sure mum told him about his fight with Draco… since it got him 3 weeks worth of detention… so was this his way of getting Harry to talk about it?

“I… er I dunno, dad. I’d rather just spend time with you and Ephie. I see my friends all the time at school. Merlin, I live with Ron.” Harry said, laughing, trying to might light. James wasn’t buying it.

“C’mon. Tell dear old dad the problem.” James said, eyeing Harry knowingly. Harry sighed. He knew he couldn’t keep it from him much longer anyways. He and Narcissa were friends… he’d find out eventually.

“Draco and I got in a fight. I know you know… Ok. There! All done!” Harry said, turning away.

“Ah… no no. Not all done. I know, your mum told me what happened. It wasn’t just a fight it was a physical fight. What happened?” His dad looked genuinely concerned and Harry felt bad. He didn’t even know how to explain it to him.

“I… I don’t even know.” Harry started. “Like… I got a potions partner who’s a Slytherin and I guess Draco’s dad and his dad are friends and Draco really doesn’t like him… but like… he’s my potions partner and what was I supposed to do? Just not complete my potions assignment? I mean mum would literally kill me. So… I don’t know he got so angry about it and then we got detention from Professor Snape because we were out after curfew and he made a snide comment and then… I… I made a mean… I said something mean to him and then he slapped me. And… we just went at each other. I was so mad at him I was seeing red. I wanted to hurt him dad…” Harry said, taking a shuddering breath. James put his hands overtop of Harry’s.

“Harry… if he hurt your feelings it’s understandable that you were angry. It’s Ok. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Now… you’re still mad at him?”

“Well… yeah! He… I mean he said he was fine with me and then… well he obviously was lying because then he started acting like an arse!” Harry practically shouted. “I mean… I didn’t even do anything wrong! He’s the one who’s been acting so bloody weird!”

“Did you ever think maybe he’s just worried for you? I mean… if he knows your potions partner and doesn’t like him… doesn’t that tell you that maybe he’s just trying to look out for you?” His dad said, ever so sensibly. Harry sunk into his chair.

“I guess… I just… I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I can’t spend time with him… we have to do our work together.” Harry just didn’t understand how he was supposed to fix everything.

“I think that… that’s probably not what Draco is even actually mad about… he’s probably just using it as his excuse for his anger. He’s probably mad because he doesn’t like this kid… and by the sound of it, you do like him…?” James said, sort of asking Harry. He shrugged.

“I mean… he seems really nice. And he’s never given me any reason not to like him. He’s very easy to talk to… and I don’t know. I asked him what happened between him and Draco and he said that he didn’t have a problem with Draco… so it must be just Draco that has the problem with him. And I told Draco that if he would just tell me what Blaise did I wouldn’t even think twice about being Blaise’s friend. Because Draco’s my best friend… doesn’t he get that? If he was just honest with me I wouldn’t even have questioned it.” Harry said, working himself up again. James grinned.

“Have I ever told you that the two of you remind me of Moony and Padfoot? ‘Cause you do, so much.” James said, laughing lightly. Harry looked up at his dad in shock. _What was that supposed to mean?_

“What?” Harry asked, cheeks flushed and heart beating fast. “Why would me and Draco remind you of Pads and Moony? That’s not even… that’s so different. I don’t even… I’m not-!” Harry was working himself up so much that suddenly his breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t catch another. He was trying to breathe but it seemed like no air was in his lungs anymore. He felt his body shaking and he looked down at his hands and his vision was blurry. What was happening to him? He felt tears streaming down his cheeks but he didn’t remember feeling like he had to cry…

He opened his eyes and he was laying down on the couch and his mum and dad sighed in relief when they saw Harry’s green eyes staring back at them.

“Oh my gods.” His mum said, falling into his dad’s chest.

“H… you Ok?” His dad asked him.

“I…” His voice was very hoarse. “I’m Ok… what… what happened?” He asked them.

“I think you had a panic attack baby.” Lily said, sitting down next to him.

“A… panic attack?” He repeated, confused. What did that even mean? You get panicked about something and then… black out? He’s never done that before… has he?

“Sometimes they happen when something triggers us… or even just when you feel too anxious. Have you been feeling very anxious recently?” James asked, kneeling on the floor by Harry’s head so he was right in front of him. He brushed Harry’s bangs out of his eyes and caressed his forehead.

“I… I guess so. Just… just with everything going on. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you.” Harry said, sitting up. He felt so embarrassed. Typical Harry having to go and make everything so dramatic.

“No. Don’t apologize, H. It’s Ok.” His dad said, getting up with him. “I’m uh… I’m sorry if what I said made you… hurt your… I’m sorry if I caused it.” His dad said, looking like it was his fault.

“Dad… no… I’m- I… I don’t even know what… er… I can’t remember what even got me so worked up… I’m uh… I’m gonna just go lay down…” He got up and walked to his room and fell onto his bed. Truth be told he remembered what got him so worked up… his dad had said that he and Draco reminded him of… of Moony and Padfoot. And… Harry wasn’t quite sure why that triggered him so much. He loves both of them… he… he certainly wasn’t homophobic… that means you hate LGBTQ+ people… he didn’t! But… he wasn’t… He’s not gay or… or bi… or whatever Moony and Padfoot are… no. Harry’s just not. And of course his family wouldn’t care… and it’s… that’s definitely not the case. He’s only 11… you don’t know that stuff right now! He didn’t even think he was interested in anyone… he’s just a kid…

“Ok, baby.” His mum said sweetly. “Do you want some water?” She asked him. He nodded, water sounded great right about now.

“Harry… I… you know I love you, right?” His dad asked him. Harry looked up and nodded.

“Yeah I… Of course I know that, dad.” Harry said confusedly. If anything James loved Harry too much.

“I just want you to know that… nothing would make me not love you… and that you’re my dude. You’re my guy… my best bud, Ok?” His dad looked like he was tearing up, and it made Harry feel emotional too. He hugged his dad tightly.

“Yeah. You’re my best bud too, dad.”

.

.

.

The next morning Harry woke up to a five year old girl staring at him. Now in his mind he knew that the only people who would just stare at him and not try to murder him in his sleep would be his family, but when you’re first sight when waking up is another person’s eyes and you’re not used to that… Harry screamed Ok? A big, loud, shriek… and tumbled off of his bed. Ephie was giggling madly and sat down on Harry’s bed, waiting for him to calm down.

“Ephie… as much as I love our early morning talks… what can I do for you right now?” Harry said, standing up. The only thing that was hurt was his pride a little, but it was just Ephie, she’s seen him in much worse circumstances.

“Can we go to the donut shop today!?” She practically shouted in his face. “Mummy said to ask you to walk with me because she didn’t want to go! Please Harry? Please, please, please, please, plea-.” Harry put his hand over her mouth to get her to stop talking.

“Yes Ephs. Just… let me get dressed.” She sprinted out of the room squealing with joy. He heard her tell their mum and it sounded like she was helping Ephie get her coat and boots on. Harry truly didn’t mind. The donut shop was only a block from their flat and plus they had great tea. Lately when he’d been waking up, he immediately thought of Draco and how he missed him… and then the feeling of missing him turned into anger and then he just felt mad all over again. He brushed it off and stood up to get ready and then he and Ephie were off.

When they arrived they sat down at a small table for two and a kind looking waiter walked over to them. He looked to only be about 16 give or take a few. He was very pretty and looked a bit like Draco with his light blonde hair. Then he thought that maybe it was weird that he thought that a boy was pretty… and maybe that he shouldn’t think that boys are pretty? Not that there’s anything wrong with boys thinking that boys ar-

“Uh… Harry?” Ephie said, rather loudly. Apparently Harry’s mind had wondered off… how embarrassing. His face turned bright red and he looked to the waiter, who was smiling patiently at them.

“I’m… sorry. I’ll have a chocolate donut and just a black tea.” Harry said, smiling at him. The waiter smiled and nodded and walked off to put their order in.

“Are you Ok, Harry?” Ephie asked him. Harry looked at his little sister, who was way too intuitive for her own good.

“I’ll be fine, Ephs.” He said, hoping she would just drop it.

“You know, you should just talk to Draco if you’re mad at him. You love him and you’re really sad without him.” Ephie said, as the waiter returned with their order. He just looked at Ephie in shock.

“How… how did you know?” He asked her. He didn’t think he was that easy to read… but if his five year old sister can tell…

“I dunno. I just notice things. Like you seem sad and I know you set an owl to Ron and Neville and even someone named Hermy or something but none to Draco.” She said, taking a bite of her donut.

“Hermione.” Harry corrected.

“Yes… that. So. What’s wrong, did you guys get in a fight?” She asked him. He shrugged and took a sip of his tea.

“I guess… He… I dunno Ephs. I don’t know what happened… but I miss him. I’m very mad at him still though.” He explained. She looked thoughtful for a minute and then spoke.

“Ok. Well I have a question then.” She said.

“Ok… I have an answer… probably.”

“Are you more mad at him than however much you love him?” Harry just stared at her with his mouth opened a bit in shock and wondered if he was this smart when he was 5. He never thought about that… and of course not. He loved Draco a lot and he was mad at him… really mad… but he loved him way more than that.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really smart, Ephie?” She smiled and took a drink of her water. When they finished up their food, Harry paid and they walked out. He had Ephie’s hand in his and was thinking a lot about what everyone’s said to him regarding Draco… everyone can pick up on whatever strange relationship he and Draco had… and it all felt. a bit unnerving to him. Just because he had a different friendship with Draco versus maybe his and Neville’s or his and Ron’s it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has some… that he’s… well he’s not that… and it doesn’t matter. Ephie’s right, this fight was stupid and he’ll talk to Draco at the Christmas Eve party. Hopefully this can all blow over and everything can go back to normal.

Harry just couldn’t understand why Draco got so angry… and hopefully he’ll be able to fill in the dots when they talk. Whatever happened between him and Blaise was obviously more serious than Harry thought. If Draco said that he wanted Harry to get a new potions partner, he’d beg his mum if he has to. Because… I mean doesn’t Draco understand that Harry would do anything for him, that he loved him more than what’s considered normal for eleven year old boys? Harry always felt with everything in him. His mum told him he’s an empath because he always feels other people’s emotions as well. Perhaps that’s why he sometimes could turn off his feelings completely, almost like going all numb. He never told his mum that part though. Maybe he had an internal switch he could press. His mum always told him that it was great how much Harry loved, how he cared with everything in him. He’s got a lot of people who love him and so, by default, a lot of people he loves.

But that’s a dangerous thing too... it means you’ve got a whole lot to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at the beginning is ‘black butterflies and déjà vu’ by the maine! 
> 
> thanks for reading i love you all so much! i hope you liked it! as always please let me know if there’s any horrendous errors while reading! also that fanfiction is for fun and not to take anything too crazy serious! 
> 
> also i’m a kindergarten teacher and i know ephie seems like super wise beyond her years but i swear my kids talk to me like this! i’m not making it up!
> 
> xoxo <3


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